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The Relationship Compass – Should You Be Headed Into or Out of Your Relationship

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The only investors staying the course are those with a broken compass.”

— from an ad for BNY Mellon

When I saw this ad it immediately made me think about people who enter and/or stay in unhealthy, unhappy relationships. Some people seem to have a broken Relationship Compass. They enter relationships with people they shouldn’t be with or they stay in relationships they shouldn’t stay in. Let’s look at some of the reasons this happens.

The family that you grew up in might have set a model for relationships that isn’t a good model. It could be a family where there was violence, hostility, intimidation, alcoholism, etc. If this is what you grew up with, then this is what you might consider “normal” or inevitable. If that’s the case, then you could tolerate, accept, or expect such unhealthy things to exist in your own relationships.

The culture that you grew up in could have taught you to expect or tolerate things that shouldn’t exist in a healthy relationship — like sexism, alcoholism, violence, etc. In this case, even if you recognize what’s wrong, you may consider those things the “natural” or inevitable components of relationships.

The family or culture that you grew up in might have told you that leaving relationships is unacceptable, intolerable, unforgivable, or immoral. In this case, even if you figure out that the relationship is a bad place to be, you may believe that you must not or cannot leave it.

Cultures in which obedience or submission are values, particularly in women, give the intentional message that the vows are unconditional, and that there is no justification ever for terminating them, since decision-making isn’t within your power.

Cultures or religions in which the vows are considered unconditional compacts make it clear that terminating a relationship is unacceptable without exception. This can be a moral or religious issue where there is never a justification for “breaking a solemn promise”.

Families sometimes say, explicitly, things like, “You made your bed; now lie in it.” In this case the belief is that choices are irrevocable and that mistakes are uncorrectable. There is even a message, explicit or implicit, that you should be punished for having made a mistake.

There could be compelling reasons to stay even if you feel it’s an unhealthy place to be.

If you believe (accurately or erroneously) that you can’t support yourself or your children if you leave a bad relationship, you may feel you must stay. This consideration sometimes trumps any consideration for the toxic quality for you or your children of remaining permanently in an unhealthy situation.

If you fear retribution if you even attempt to leave, then staying may feel safer than leaving. Even with the increasing availability of sanctuaries for people who leave abusive situations, not everyone is convinced that safety can be ensured if they leave.

If you fear that you will be rejected by extended family, friends, or society if you leave, you may stay because you fear ostracism from your support system. It can feel safer, and even more comfortable, to remain in an unhealthy situation and retain your social network than it would be to leave and be isolated socially.

Sometimes people believe that the natural course of relationships involves phases during which the relationship is not good or positive and that this is just the way it is, either temporarily or as a permanent evolution of the relationship.

If this is a temporary situation AND it is addressed by one or both partners, that’s not necessarily troublesome or a reason to consider exiting the relationship.

If it’s been an increasingly negative trajectory, this should not be assumed to be the natural course of relationships. Healthy relationships get BETTER over time, not worse. As partners mature and as they increasingly learn how to be better partners, healthy relationships grow stronger, more positive, and more loving. (Sometimes that’s because there was in fact a rough patch that they navigated in healthy and growthful ways.)

Serious relationships deserve serious consideration and substantial effort before they’re terminated. I am not advocating precipitous action to terminate a relationship because there’s a rocky moment or even problematic behavior or interaction.

I am suggesting that for some people, because of history, training, or personality, or because of fear, loyalty, or unreasoning hope, sometimes the Relationship Compass points IN when it should, more self-respectfully, point OUT.

Piolo Admits Relationship With Kc Concepcion

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Hunk actor Piolo Pascual on Sunday finally broke his silence on the real score between him and actress-TV host KC Concepcion. Pascual admitted on The Buzz, where Concepcion is a host, that he and the daughter of Megastar Sharon Cuneta are in a romantic relationship.

Concepcion became his girlfriend on October 21 last year, he revealed.

It took me 2 years (before she said yes). Tsaka na yung detalye. Basta thats one of the best days of my life. For the first time in more than 8 years, Im getting into a relationship, a commitment. And Im planning to keep it, he said.

Asked about his term of endearment to Concepcion, Pascual said, I call her my princess.

For months, Pascual and Concepcion have been mum on the status of their relationship, saying that they want to stay away from the huzzles and buzzles of showbiz. Pascual, in particular, wanted to keep things private so as not to affect his 13-year-old son, Iigo.

The reason why I never admitted naman was because may pinoprotektahan ako. I have a son, ayaw mong magkaroon ng ibang reaction yung bata. Hes only 13 years old, he explained.Mahirap talaga (for her) and I found it too unfair kasi siya lagi ang nagsasalita. So finally a couple of days ago I said na its time for me to speak upits also my responsibility para shes not left in the dark, para hindi siya nahihirapang sumagot.
The hunk actor also apologized to Concepcion, Sorry if it took me this long. Its a thorn off my chest, I must say.

KC is taken

Pascual said he also decided to announce his relationship with Concepcion so the latters admirers would no longer consider courting the actress. Among those rumored to have expressed interest in the Megadaughter are Azkals football player Phil Younghusband, actor Sam Milby, and apl.de.ap, the Filipino member of American hip hop group Black Eyed Peas.

Para matigilan na rin yung mga nagpaparinig kay Kristina (laughs), Pascual said.I wouldnt want to watch another interview para may magsabi na may crush sa kanya or gustong makipag-date. I just want them to know that shes taken.

Pascual thanked Concepcion for sticking it out with me and for being sobrang sobrang patient and understanding.

Asked if Concepcion is the woman hes willing to spend the rest of his life with, the hunk actor said, Siguro di naman ako aamin nang ganito or magta-take ng risk kung sa tingin ko di ko siya gusto makasama habangbuhay.

Enchong denies Erich-Kim tiff

For the Nth time, young actor Enchong Dee clarified that his on screen partner Erich Gonzales and co-star Kim Chiu are not involved in a rift. Dee appealed for people to stop speculating about the non-existent tiff.

Sa mga taong patuloy na gumagawa ng kuwento at naninira sa amin, sana tigilan niyo na. Ang masasabi ko po talaga na magkaibigan sila, walang ganon, said Dee.

The actor also denied that there is a budding romance between him and Chiu. He, however, admitted that he got something for the actress when he came back from a vacation in Hong Kong.

Meanwhile, Dee was recently launched as one of the new batch of Agimat Boys.

Along with actors Jason Abalos and Ejay Falcon, the 3 said they feel so honored in meeting actor and former Senator Ramon Revilla Sr., the original star of Agimat. Revilla told the 3 matinee idols to make the most out of their youth and always give their best in every project. He also teased them about their love lives.

Masuwerte kayong mga kabataan. Noong sikat din ako marami akong kaibigang chicks, Revilla said in jest.

Top Reasons Relationship Depression Starts And How To Overcome It

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Did you know that depression in a relationship is quite common? It usually means that something is wrong in the relationship that one or both people acknowledge but do not know how to change the problem. When depression in a relationship happens, it’s essential that it gets fixed or the relationship may completely dissolve. Many bad relationships are the cause behind relationship depression.

How Does Relationship Depression Start?

What causes depression in a relationship to begin? Actually, there are three main causes as to why relationship depression begins. They include:

(1) Letdown Feelings – Many times relationship depression begins when one person has been let down by their significant other. Their dreams have not been fulfilled and they no longer feel hopeful staying in the relationship.

(2) Loss of Control – It can also occur when one person is too controlling over the relationship. The person becoming depressed in the relationship has to do things a certain way including selection of clothes, cooking, cleaning the house, etc. Too much power is given to one person and the other feels insignificant. Thus relationship depression begins because the dominated person has no control over his or her own life.

(3) Pretending – Sometimes, when a relationship begins, people don’t act like themselves. They tend to hide who they are for fear of rejection or opening up. If you are like this, it’s likely that you feel that revealing who you really are will make your partner leave you. When you aren’t yourself, you lead yourself into a relationship depression. After all, the relationship is based on a lie and no one can lie about who they really are without becoming depressed.

You Can Stave Off Relationship Depression

A person who is depressed in a relationship will need considerable help getting over it. There are ways this can be done and it will take patience. If you know someone who is in a relationship depression, here are some things you can do.

First, be around for them. It’s important to be a friend and listen to them whenever they are ready to talk. They need to feel like someone is on their side so do so for them.

Second, help them out physically around the house. They don’t feel like doing much when they are depressed and this goes for chores too. Lend them a hand until they feel up to doing things once more.

Third, make sure they get up out of bed. While this may seem easy to you, when a person is suffering depression in a relationship, they are going to need a little extra push.

Fourth, remember to love them unconditionally, with no strings attached. It’s normal to feel frustrated by the relationship depression but they have to know that you are not upset with them by the situation, only about the situation itself.

Fifth, find some outside help. Often times, just talking about the problem that’s causing the relationship depression can help. Other times, people will need medication to overcome depression. Don’t be afraid to seek out help if you feel it goes beyond what you can do.

The Advantages Of Hiring A Gay Escort

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Utilizing a gay escort is something that many men feel uncomfortable with at first. However, once you take apart the essence and motivation of utilizing an escort service, you can remove the stigma of the action and actually enjoy it. There are many advantages to calling on an escort service from time to time for companionship, and perhaps something more.

No Strings Attached

If you are not currently in a relationship or if you have just come out of one, you know how much work is necessary to grow a relationship, develop trust and intimacy, and hope to find a balance by which you and your partner can be happy and sexually fulfilled. This is great in the long run, but if you have needs now, today, an escort service can provide you with anything from simple companionship and interesting conversation to a night of intimacy and great sex.

The advantage of using a gay escort over entering into a relationship is more than just the immediacy. A paid escort is a professional who understands the need to be in the mood for what you are in the mood for. If you want to take in a show, go to a ball game, or stay in and cuddle, he wants that too. This is not something you can count on from a boyfriend, husband, or lover. When working with a professional gay escort, you can count on his being enthusiastic about giving you the evening you are hoping for, with no need for commitments or obligations.

The Man of Your Choice

If you walk into a bar or a nightclub hoping to meet a man, you may very well meet no one; you may not even see anyone you find attractive. However, if you take the time to peruse photos of the men available through gay escort services, you will find that you can choose the man who best suits your tastes and desires. You can make your choice based on skin tone, body type, eye color, or whatever you find attractive.

You get to spend the evening with the man you have chosen, and the activities and tone of the evening are your choice as well. If sex is what you are seeking, you will be having sex with a man who does this for a living, and is likely much more skilled in the area than most men you will meet at the gym, bar, or library.

What if you Want a Relationship?

This is a touchy area because escorts are paid to spend time with you and will never be available to be an exclusive lover. However, if you become a regular customer to one gay escort in particular, the two of you will get to know each other, and he will learn what things you enjoy doing and where you like to go. These factors will make you feel even closer to the man with whom you have been spending time, and for some this may make your time spent with your gay escort even more satisfying.

CORRELATION STUDIES IN EDUCATION

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ABSTRACT This paper reviewed importance of correlation studies in educational research. The paper concluded that correlation is used to find relationship between variables, determined degree of association etc. and recommendation was made at the end of the paper. INTRODUCTION Correlational study is very important in research. This is obvious in the ways it has been used in researches today in sciences, education, engineering etc. correlational study is used to find relationships between variables, degree of relationships, association among parameters, existing influences between variables, determine the degree of freedom, variability in performance, strength of variations in strength of relationships. The correlation is one of the most common and most useful statistics. A correlation is a single number that describes the degree of relationship between two variables. IMPORTANCE OF CORRELATION Darko and Ansa-Asare (2009) cited the use of correlation to establish relationships and interactions between parameters. Correlation does not only used to find out relationship that exists between variables, it can also be used to determine the degree of relationships and variability between students’ performance in examination as opined by Oluwatayo (2007). Abe (2007) confirmed that correlation can be used to determine the strength of relationship between subjects and variations in strength of relationships of scores in subjects. Correlation is a good instrument to be used to analyse relationship between performances of students as observed by Ige (2007). Boampong, Acquah and Achiamaa (2009) used correlation to assess linear association among studied quantitative parameters. Boampong, Acqua, Sam-Awortwi and Ofori (2010) stated that correlation could be used to test for association among measured parameters. Correlation allows the researcher to investigate naturally occurring variables that maybe unethical or impractical to test experimentally. For example, it would be unethical to conduct an experiment on whether smoking causes lung cancer. Mcleod (2008) opined that correlation identifies variables and looks for a relationship between them. Correlation allows the researcher to clearly and easily see if there is a relationship between variables. This can then be displayed in a graphical form. The correlation is one of the most common and most useful statistics. He stressed further that correlation is a single number that describes the degree of relationship between two variables. Lanthier (2011) looked at correlation as a way to measure how associated or related two variables are. She explains further that in a correlational study, the researcher is measuring conditions that already exist and finding out in what way pairs of variables are related. Lanthier (2011) opined that the researcher looks at things that already exist and determines if and in what way those things are related to each other and that, purpose of doing correlations is to allow us to make a prediction about one variable based on what we know about another variable. She believed when we know there is a correlation between two variables, we can make a prediction. We can make predictions about things when we know about correlations. If two variables are correlated, we can predict one based on the other. Mcleod (2008) observed that an important area where correlation is widely used is in the study of intelligence where research has been carried out to test the strength of the association between the I.Q. levels of identical and non-identical twins. Correlation research is a form of analysis in which you correlate one variable with another to determine if there is a relationship between them. It is used as a first step prior to experimentation, when experiments cannot be conducted (for ethical or practical reasons). In correlation research you do not manipulate a variable, you gather information through: Observation, Surveys or Questionnaires, and Information Correlation is concerned with describing the degree of relationship between variables. Researchers can use one variable to make predictions about another variable, that correlation can be used to find interrelation between variables. Minium, King & Bear (1993) posited that correlation can be used mainly to determine the degree of association between variables, and also to make prediction about an event. To establish reliability of a test, for example, we would want to know the extent of initial performance on the same test at a subsequent time. Minium et al (1993) opined that correlation is used in determining the degree of association between two variables and predicting a person’s standing in associated variable. John and Arthur (1991) viewed that when two variables are examined for their correlation; it is usually for the purpose of predicting one of them. Most correlation studies are initiated based on the desire to examine and explain the changing value of this variable. Horst (1963) said correlation measures the co variation in the magnitude of two things. CONCLUSION AND RECOMMENDATION Correlation is very important in educational research as it could be used to find out relationship between variables, determine degree of association, for prediction about one variable and strength of a relationship. Having reviewed role of correlation in educational research it is therefore suggested that institutions of learning should design a course especially for correlation study. This will help students to apply correlation statistics correctly in research.

REFERENCES Abe, T.O (2007). Skewness and Kurtosis of School- based – Assessment scoresAs determinants of the need for moderation. International Journal of Research in Education 4(1&2) 40-46 Boampong, J.N,Acquah, S & Achiamaa, A(2009). A Cross- Sectional Study Of Home-based Management of Malaria in Bakaano, a suburb of Cape Coast, Ghana: Recognition of Signs, Symptoms and Treatment Options. Journal of Ghana Science Association. 11(2)50-57 Boampong,J.N,Acquah, S,Sam-Awortwi, E.N & Ofori,M.F (2010). A PreliminaryStudy of Association of Erythrocyte Sedimentation Rate with Malaria-Specific Immunoglobulin G and Malaria-induced Anaemia. Journal of Ghana Science Association. 12(1)89-98 Darko,H.F&Ansa-Asare,O.D (2009). Chlorophyll-A, Concentrations in Relation to Water Quality and Trophic Status in the Weija Reservoir from 2005-2008. Journal of Ghana Science Association. 11(2)7I-81 Horst, P (1983). Matrix Algebra for Social Scientists, New York: Holt,Rinehart, and Winston. Ige, O.O (2007). Statistical Analysis of the Relationship between Students’Performance in English and Mathematics in some Selected Secondary Schools in Osun State, Nigeria. International Journal of Research in Education. 4(172)164-171

John, E. H & Arthur, G.R (1991). Linear Equations. Understanding business Statistics. USA. Richard, D. Irwin Inc. 450. Lanthier, E (2011). Correlation. Retrieved from http://www.nvcc.edu/home/elanthier/methods/correlation.html Mcleod, S (2008). Correlation. Retrieved from http://www.simplypsychology.org/correlation.html Minium, E.W, King, B.M &Bear, G (1993). Correlation. Statistical Reasoning In Psychology and Education. John Wiley & son Inc. Canada. Oluwatayo, J.A(2007). Comparative Analysis of Students’ Performance in Chemistry in WAEC and NECO Senior School Certificate Examination International Journal of Research in Education 4(1&2)194-200