You want to know how to rebuild your relationship and get your ex to come back. What can you do?
This can be a difficult enterprise. Sometimes the things you need to do will seem counter productive. You need to be strong and have faith in the process and yourself.
One important strategy is to step back and stay calm. Raging emotions are usually unhelpful. No desperation here, just logical thinking, in determining what you need to do to have the best chance of rebuilding your relationship.
During the week there are hundreds of details that need tending to. There are things to do, people to see, places to go. So its not surprising that romance naturally falls to the back of the list of things to do. To many people, romance is a treat that is to be savored only on special occasions; or whenever it feels like we deserve it, usually after denying ourselves of it in favor of a lot of hard work.
As satisfying and renewing as romantic relationships are, we are still not quite at the place to see them as part of a healthy lifestyle. Even though there is a lot of hard scientific evidence to support making romance a healthy part of every day, many people leave it to the weekends to partake of their special treat.
Couples who dont live to together may only have the weekends to see each other or spend any real quality time to together. But even married couples, and couples who live together, put their romance off until Friday after work. This may seem okay to a certain extent, but given the fact that there are other things that need to be done on the weekends, that didnt get done during the week, it might be difficult to give yourself permission to do nothing but take some private time doing nothing but enjoying another persons company. But if there isnt some time and attention given to it, a relationship will suffer. It may suffer in silence for a while, but it will suffer just the same.
Many marriages do not survive the initial phase of marital bliss and whether it be a year or two later or ten years later you may find your self in a marriage dead and lifeless and on the brink of divorce. How to save a dead marriage is not impossible however, but it may seem that way after you have tried to coax some life out of it and failed. With the right approach, the right attitude and some knowledge of psychology and communication you can turn things around and return the spark of passion, love and commitment to your marriage if you can deal with the resentment issues that plague it.
Resentment
Often marriages struggle and falter over time as resentment over various issues sets in. In a marriage that seems dead it might not show in arguments and heated debate but instead in cold silence and petty grudges, in fact if there were more arguments then at least there would be some communication! This resentment in yourself or your partner may be caused by money issues, affairs, ambition, drug use or many other things that have happened and have not been resolved and no healthy loving marriage can continue without the specter of divorce if you resent your spouse or they resent you.
The word -remediation- is very important in the work my colleagues and I do with families affected by autism and other neuro-developmental disabilities, but it is a word that is unfamiliar to many people. I thought I would take a moment this week to talk about what remediation means in general, and specifically in the realm of autism.
Let’s start with some basic dictionary definitions:
Remediate (verb) – To remedy a problem
Remedial (adjective) – Intended to correct or improve one’s skill in a specific field; therapeutic, corrective, restorative
Remediation (noun) – Use of remedial methods to improve skills; the act or process of correcting a deficiency
Dr. Steven Gutstein’s definition of remediation: Correcting a deficit to the point where it no longer constitutes and obstacle
I want you to think about something for a minute here. I want you to really think about how much it hurts to know that you and your girlfriend have broken up. Think about what it will feel like when you hear it through the grapevine that she is now dating someone else. Do you want to just let this happen, or are you READY to do something about it so that you DO get her back?
When a relationship ends, men come up with one idea and they usually stick to it. And it is the WRONG idea. That idea is, they try to convince their ex girlfriend to take them back. Whether it is through writing a letter, trying to get her to talk on the phone or through text messages, most guys will try to go the route of using logic to convince their ex girlfriend on why she should take them back.
And you know what?